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For over a decade, David Tian, Ph.D., has coached tens of thousands of people from over 87 countries to achieve happiness and success in their dating and love lives.
Once a nerdy, skinny professor of philosophical psychology who couldn’t hold a conversation to save his life, David is now director of Aura Transformation Corp., and a world renowned dating and life coach using therapeutic methods.
Dr. Tian has been featured in international media, including AXN, Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, as well as co-hosting a radio show on national radio and a weekly dating advice column in a national newspaper in Singapore.
The show, “Man Up: Masculinity for the Intelligent Man (http://www.auratransformation.org/blog),” is David’s way of helping as many people as possible enjoy empowering and fulfilling lives, while contributing to the global understanding of masculinity in modern times. In the show, he takes your questions posed in the Man Up private Facebook group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/manup…) and answers based on his experience coaching (https://www.auratransformation.org/co…) tens of thousands of students around the world for over a decade.”
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In episode 36, I answer the question of: When should a man pay for a woman?
Masculinity for the Intelligent Man. I am David Tian, Ph.D., and this is: Man Up.
Welcome to Man Up, episode 36. I’m filming on my own. I don’t have my team here so it’s a self-filmed episode. I’m David Tian, Ph.D. I’m currently in Seoul, Korea and I have a question here that I’m answering. Privately sent to me by Brian and the question is – it’s very long, I’m going to just paraphrase. Or actually, I’m going to pull out some of the sentences. It’s about men paying for women. Should we? That’s the question.
The expectations for males to pay for female’s company is something that we all learn very early on as part of all of our customs and traditions that belong to courtship like paying for dinner and drinks when dating, purchasing the wedding ring and wedding ceremony and so on. We are raised with manners to give females flowers, chocolates, jewelry, ice cream, dinner. But even though none of that is cash, all are ways of charming her. What is your view on paying for women?
Saying “paying for women” makes it sound like prostitutes but paying for stuff on the dates, I get that. Now, this is a deep question. If I had an hour, I could go through all of the various steps or in the logic of the argument but I can only give you one or two points and then the conclusion. And then maybe if somebody wants to learn more, they can ask more. I’ll end with some practical tidbits of advice or tips.
But basically, it made a lot of sense for the man to be in the paying position when women couldn’t work so easily like in the 1800s all around the world, women did not have easy access to education, in some countries, no access to education – even now . So education was denied them. Career opportunities were denied them. And social freedoms, in many cases, were denied. So they’re, in many ways, dependent on the man. Like literally – financially, for security and so on. So in the male-female relationship in the 1800s, it made a lot of sense for the man to be in that position of providing.
For transcriptions and more free resources, go here: http://www.davidtianphd.com/date-strategies/when-should-a-man-pay-for-a-woman/